Arizona has a high demand for foster parents. In her article in the Arizona Daily Star, Foster care from the inside, Sarah Gessen discusses foster care, and how to become a foster parent in Arizona. We wanted to highlight a quote that speaks to how foster parents are often covered in the media as heroes, whereas this article sets the record straight:
“You don’t need to be a superhero to help a foster child,” Moriah said. “You just have to have patience. They’re going through a lot. There’s just so much more to a kid than that.”
Yes, there is! While no one would object to driving a Batmobile around town, many foster parents would object to characterization as heroes. As with helping a biological child or stepchild, you don’t need to be a hero. Here’s what you do need:
Flexibility to Adapt
Fostering requires flexibility from the family. Children in foster care are placed in these situations where they have no choice but to adapt to new settings, situations, and people. A good foster family realizes how far these children and teens are stretched, and will adapt to what each child needs. And, of course, there’s the matter of goodbyes. While these can be emotionally rending, ask a foster parent if their family regrets opening their homes and hearts in the first place, and they will tell you no.
Understanding and Patience
Children in foster care, like all children, have their own individual personalities and temperaments. They might bring views or behaviors that don’t mesh with your own. Accept differences that don’t cause anyone harm. When it comes to negative or destructive behaviors, remember that behavior is learned and can be changed.
Discard the Stereotypes
Children in foster care are not “bad kids.” Often, they’re just in a bad situation. Healthy relationships are founded in trust and respect. Expecting children in foster care to act out starts your relationship off on the wrong foot. Be prepared to respond to behaviors that may express troubled feelings, but don’t label the child as troubled. In fact, we don’t even like the label “foster children.” Children in foster care are children first.
To become a foster parent, you don’t have to be a hero. You just have to do your best to keep the child or teenager safe, healthy, and happy as you would for your own children. You have to provide basic needs like food, shelter, and transportation, and it helps to nurture interests and passions as well through extracurricular activities, summer camps, athletics, and enrichment programs.
Arizona Friends of Foster Children Foundation helps foster families fund enrichment activities. Consider making a donation eligible for tax credits.